introductions

Hello my name is Aaron, I’m your Great uncle!!!! This is what I told my little nephew but Damn that sounds old as fuck.  When I first saw him, I hoped he would recognize me as kin. Like something genetic in his body would gravitate towards me due to our common blood line. After 20 mins of Ryan walking around without a clue to who I was, I had to insert a piece of my personality into his world.

I am glad my first connection with Ryan Ashton Mallory was this face above. It not only made him stop fucking up his dad’s foot locker store,  but I got to see why Ryan was apart of me.  I would like to introduce Ryan to the World!!!!!

There is something really unique to babies that seems to be lost when they get older. Not only does Ryan wildly accepted anyone, he presented himself as a perfect student. He was learning, improving, and living life to its fullest. I saw myself in him as I am trying to navigate this world, yet He is so young to the complexities of life. To him all he needs is his intuition as a guide plus the help of his community to deal with the little things like Shit, piss, and food.  A perfect day, to him,  is exploration in a world that is unknown to him. I am 22 years old but Ryan knows deep down that I dont understand how he views this pacifier and maybe what he is telling us, when he throws is pacifier to the ground, is that he isn’t phased by material posessions even though his parents are trying to tell him to hold on to the pacifier because it is his. He knows nothing of ownership only what he has been told or given with the intent of something being his. So from time to time he will exercise his place in the world by claiming an item “is mine.” Yet, he doesnt linger with dread once the temporary item, to be profiteered, is gone. He is full of  joy, pure joy. Its amazing!!!!

Yet, I feel him becoming what he sees in his parents. Which isn’t bad at all but of course he will know what it means to be a man by watching his father in solitude fix the T.V. or set up the VCR system, while his mother sits in isolation taking a break from raising the child. I can’t help but wish that Ryan will be given all that he needs to keep on learning and exploring. But the reality is that Ryan is born into a world where those things are a privileged.

I love my nephew so much. He reminds me that the love I have can extend to anyone as long as I still feel that I have love to give. I wish Ryan the best, and I hope he learned to keep exploring if when the world starts to close in on him, mentally through accepted gender dynamics and Bodily as he grows into what we know as a Man.

With Love,

Aaron

Bush supports the United Negro College Fund.

“Negro” has been dispelled by science and the UNCF’s use further marginalizes Black people. I am not knock’n the intent of the fund. It has provided many students with a college education. What is important to note is that the choice of words and who funds the organization does not serve the interest of brown&black people. The UNCF’s choice to keep the word nergo in its name does not adhere to the fact that the word Negro has been disproved. Negro for many of years had been used to show a distinctive biological difference among people of African-decent. The university system used this to definition exclude Black folks from higher education as we were deemed incompetent by science. Yet, this was made false by the efforts of classy Negros like Dubios and Richard Wright etc… (Black Women hadn’t been saved yet) So Dubios wearing them ugly closes meant his inclusion as a human being and not a savage. This is important to note, in that play the game of access a considerable amount of change took place. Yet, 70 years later its still access we are after.

Taken from UNCF.com, “Our mission is to enhance the quality of education by providing financial assistance to deserving students, raising operating funds for member colleges and universities, and increasing access to technology for students and faculty at historically black colleges and universities.” Now there is no mention of Negro, but this doesn’t lend to agency in peoples lives. The UNCF is providing access to a system that is constantly falling people. Whats the current retention rates of incoming students and what does the university do to keep there students in school?

With all of this said, I am very cautious of organizations that have many years of life but rely on the same tools over and over again. Access is still a problem but it isn’t access to the system. Its access to our own lives. The university further divides people from themselves as the university has become an extension of the capitalist system. I would like to see a UP4CRF(United People for College Reform Fund). Now that would be brill

I really hate when people comment about how radical Obama is or was. “Aaron, you should read notes from my father, Obama is radical in this book.” I havent read the book and I am not because my only read for reading it will be to tell everyone that Obama is not a radical. One thing I have learned is that for brown people obama, culturally, is a good thing. It makes people feel better about being brown and lately feeling good about your skin is a difficult task.

What I want to highlight  is how Obama is nothing special, just your average person with a liberal edcuation on the streets. I dont want to call him a liberal, so I won’t. Its important to note that at the time of his education Obama did not participate in the wealth of radicalism in Southern California. There was a sizable leftist of color participation along with Ron Karenga at Long Beach State, Ed Soja at the UCLA, Mike Davis at UCLA(I think), Angela Davis(up north), Cedric Robison(I think up at UCSB) The end of the Black Panther etc…..There was still a viable left presence in Los Angeles during Obama’s stay at Oxy.

So if Obama never tabed into these mini movements then how can people call him a radical?

But i don believe Obama knows about struggle and if you know about struggle you know about Black. So Obama knows what going on but the nigga is trying to be practical with the struggle. So its about signing pen to paper and thinking before acting, like Mr. Rogers. Yet, this shit never works and I am personally sad that Obama let his rise be written into the narrative of Black struggle in this country which leaves out 95% of that struggle. So, The Obama we have is already hijacked like them planes that were hijacked by the Panthers in the 70s. Already Obama is fucking up. Like I consider him Black because he knows what struggle looks like, but he can’t even call a halt to the destruction of our fellow brothas and Sistas in the Gaza strip. He can’t use the Black narrative to say “We as People of Struggle from the American Revolution to the Civil RIghts movement(leaving out natives) are in solidarity of the Palestinian struggle.” If you know about struggle and can’t acknowledge other peoples struggle then what the fuck do we have in a world full of struggle. Also, peep this shit!!!!

Obama’s fucking up

Love!

AIR

It feels as if pain is tied to my breathing. The air goes in and as I release it the air catches on a piece of my lung. And I Choke. Air travels from my nostrils down to my breathing tube past my heart and into my lungs. The heart is between the place where I let the psychical word inside. Air is what the world offers in plenty and it keeps us alive. I have never thought of how many breathes I have taken in my life but I can remember the memorable ones. Like the breathe I took after our first kiss or the air in in between making out. Air carries more than just O2. It carries life, the soul and love. Its a tool through which I can remember history and connect myself with the history that has been lost.

My history is tied to the first breathe I took out of the womb and the last breathe my ancestors to before they died. They felt the world as I did in constant strife but fought through the many breathes that they took. I am in debt to them for everything they gave me. Its through my breathing that I can understand my past present and future.

Love

Aaron

Online applications!!!!!

Check’n the want ads to realize your worth can’t be measured in an online survey sucks. I repeat to the computer screen in an unaudible tone, “I am more than your suvery shows”. Yet, the computer screen replys with 1,2,3,4,5 telling me to grade myself on my ability to tell on someone who is stealing from the work place. I can’t type back to  explain myself, even though the computer screen is programmed to think different, I am sure a manager, or two, would believe me when I would dialouge over how some stealing is okay by me. Nor can I express my true feelings when I am asked of how I measure myself up to peoples’ feelings. The screen will never know how my face can calm a situation or how my voice can touch someones heart. Yet, the computer screen replys with 1,2,3,4,5 telling me to grade my personal achievement in the face of uncertanity.

An online app is not a measure of me, so can I be hired?

Tom Hanks

Hanks is a fan of Obama. The man who dazzled us with his hoodrat survival skills in Castway, now appears on my TV screen with epic music.

Entertainment

When does the spectacle cease to be entertainment? And what is the opposite of an event that has for years been seen as enjoyment? How can one measure the seriousness of an event that until now has been seen as a place of enjoyment for many?

Its entertaining for many the events that have taken place in the Gaza Strip, Refugee camps, and South Central Los Angeles. People enjoy watching these places because it reconfirms a part of themselves that is based on greed. But greed is only an extension of fear, because a person that fears is more likely to hurt another person. Being greedy isn’t  a simplified answer. Its just part of the whole of woman and man. People can understand what greed feels like and what it means but at what cost does greed mean nothing. The word greed doesn’t have the same use as it did with Faust and the 7 deadly sins. To be greedy is to be sane and human. Its normal as a donut. The donut is sugar and bread consumed by people for breakfast. How sugar and bread came to replace a real meal is uncertain. Yet, its a stable and people dont question it much like greed. The acceptance of greed as normal is one example of how things fall apart. What we know as truth will likely become false as new forms of thought are introduced into society.

So its easy for me to understand how death, in Gaza, Refugee camps and South Central, has became normal for most people. As long as its in front of use displayed through a controlled device, like a tv, then death is detached from our reality. Death becomes an issue of the people on the screen and not of the viewer, yet I refuse to believe the images on the TV arent my own reality also. And that those images are there for a purpose and not for me to enjoy detached from them. If this was the case then why show events that are damaging to the foundations of society. Whats damaging is a human life lost. And for every dead body we see on the tv a part of our own humanity is lost. Every death we view on the screen snatches a piece of our humanity. What happens though, if you watch and watch, can you loose your humanity altogether? Thats a question for the mystics. I just want to be human!

Walking

I am on a personal mission to walk through Sugar Land, TX. Tonight, while I was walking home from the bookstore, two middle age women locking up the Lane Bryant store. They came outside the double doors to lock up and when they looked up to see who was coming they both jumped back inside and locked themselves in. My first reaction was to jump out of them and scary them. Instead I got sad. I started to think of how my walk through Sugar Land enforces the opinion that allows for no public transit, or how a person walking at night, after business hours, is an outsider to the city. It was obvious my presence was not welcomed, but I feel, there misconception of me, is part of  what society has done to place labels on men of color. Which is a denial of historical significants that would make the current image of myself false. My history is only applicable if it relates to how the hegemonic social order came into existence. So I am only as good as a narrative of Western civilization is. Unfortunately, the history of Western Civilization is based on the negation of other cultures.

I wonder if deep down in there hearts if those women, inside of there locked doorway, saw me as a man devoid of a history or a potential criminal? I can’t tell you which is worse?

Sugar Land

I feel as though I am caught in a wedge between two objects that wont break. Inside the wedge i am perfectly capable of looking forward and backward, yet all I see is the obtusness of other peoples interactions. The wedge provides no comfort but an insight into human interaction. Yesterday, while looking backward, I came across a perplexing development that has occupied my mind.

Time, as many things in life, is a soical constrant that has been applied to the production of the capitalism. In its current form its practiced as a tool of discipline and rule as people can lose there livelyhood by being “late.” Time makes people rise out of bed and start the process of the capitalist mode of production. Even though sleep is bounded by time, which is part of capitalism, the act of sleep is currently untouched by it. People wake up through time and go through the motions of getting to work, which ultimately reenforce the social principles of capitalism at the time. Today its  socailly acceptable to be individually goal driven with a mirco portfolio on your blackberry to show interested clients. HA! These things change but the change is accompanied by a new form of interaction into the capitalism. What discribes the social system today is secultion.

The home creates seculsion with the lack of public space for resisdents to interact. individual houses on lots with fences, lawns and other controlled spatial features, create the first stage of seculsion that begins inside the house and extends to human interaction on the outside. What is crucial to these designs is that it limits the amount of interaction between people and my beef with this shit is the motherfuckin automoblie.

It seems that everyone in Sugar Land is an extension of their cars. oh you drive that BMW and live in a 300,000 dollar oh and I see you have jimmy choooooss on, OH MY!!!! Yet, what seems to be fly gear is just seculsion from the other person. A pair of J’s translates to you being fly and if you are fly you gunna get by!!!!! its like you get a free pass for looking good and people can’t qustion your shit because you look’n good. A car gives this assulion regardless if the car is fly or not. Inside the car you can be in your own world that is just as important as the car next to you. If have drinks, food, entertainment, plus a square box that provides a false sense of sercuity. You think people can’t see you so you perceed to do fucked shit. And the fact its hard to see peoples faces means there isn’t any repercussions.

Well the city of Sugar Land creates this as much as possible. And hte joke of public space in Sugar Land is highly controlled.  So lets look at some pictures.

Huge Ass Roads

In this picture you see the untimate driving experience. Ford, GMC, Crysler, Toyota, Japan, China, Korea all make Suvs to create a personal expereince of seculation which starts in the home and ends in the workplace.  Wide streets to accomedate your private expereince of state funded private roads. All you need now is a menu service develiered to you during rush hour traffic.

Th Plaza of Consumers

This plaza is only a plaza if you spend money. Its highly controlled in that you can’t smoke or drink liqour in the plaza, but they highly encourage the use of there two highly selective parking garages, which are free!!!! Theres a facade that you could actually walk through Sugar Land but I was the only mother fucker on the sidewalk here.

Bullshit